Alien from Predator upset at slow pace of banjo lessons

New Orleans, LA- The alien from the movie PredatorThe Predator is convinced that his banjo instructor is slowing the pace of his banjo lessons in an effort to draw them out to make more money.

The alien's instructor, Larry Whitney, 42, of nearby Elliot Springs, was upset by the accusation. "First of all, the damn alien doesn't even pay in money, he just keeps giving me skulls with the spines still attached to them. Like I can spend that at the A&P," he exclaimed. "The truth of the matter is, he's just not very bright, honestly I don't know how his civilization got to be so advanced that they can travel to Earth in flying saucers when this guy is so slow."

Larry Whitney

Whitney claims that the alien's large hands were not a good match for the intricate finger work needed to play the banjo. "I mean look at the end of the movie where he was typing into his bracelet to set off the nuclear bomb, he could barely type," said Whitney. "I think he should take up the drums."

The alien claims that for the time being he will stick with Whitney. But if the pace doesn't quicken soon, he may have to hunt him down, skin him alive, hang him upside down from a jungle tree and then take up the piano.

"I'd like to see him try piano!" sniffed Whitney.