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BANGOR, ME- A spirit named Stanley called a press conference and claimed to be the actual ghostwriter of world famous horror writer, Stephen King. Stanley gave shocking testimony of his 30-year relationship with King.Speaking through a spiritual interpreter, Stanley revealed a dramatic 30-year relationship with King which started in friendship and ended in loss and betrayal. Stanley and King's friendship started over 30 years. "I was never comfortable around living beings before I met Stephen," admitted Stanley. "But Stephen was a really nice guy." 
Before King embarked on a wildly prolific and lucrative career as a writer, King and Stanley were best friends. "We spent so much time together," said Stanley. "Stephen used to make me laugh. One time I laughed so much, I farted! I hadn't farted since I was alive!" Their writing collaboration started when Stanley wrote down some of stories that Stanley heard in the afterlife. "We'd talk all the time. Stephen was so interested in my neighbor, Carrie, that he wrote every word down and had it published. I told him not to waste his time, because Carrie is all gossip anyways". To Stanley's dismay, Carrie was a huge Hollywood phenomena. Money, book contracts, Hollywood movie deals, fame and fan mail flooded the King household. "Money changed everything," Stanley moaned. "I knew deep down, Stephen just wanted a simple rural life here in Maine. But an endless cash flow can drown any man's common sense. I know what money can do to people.". 
For the next 20 years, Stanley was King's faithful ghostwriter despite the strain success had on their friendship. "Stephen would only want me to tell him more otherworld gossip and wasn't interested in me personally". Then Stanley's afterlife became a living hell when King's wife, Tabetha, discovered Stanley was working for King without compensation. Driven by the prospects of free labor, Tabetha quickly seized Stanley's services. "Chores," groaned Stanley. "That woman had me do chores only ghosts can do. She had me dust the ceiling fans, change lightbulbs, and catch that noisy parakeet." Stanley finally had enough of Tabetha's non-stop daily chores and King's mounting manuscript deadline pressure. Stanley admitted, "When [Tabetha] yelled at me to fix the TV antenna on the roof during a lightening storm, I finally put my foot down! That woman was absolutely enraged! Screaming like a banshee, she chased me around the house with her cordless vacuum cleaner! I called for Stephen to help me, but he just sat there like a zombie sipping his lemonade. So, after 30 years of friendhip, right then and there, I vowed never to return." Disenchanted with King's material lust, Stanley feels he made the right decision of ending his longstanding friendship with King. "I just want to say, I wish Stephen great happiness. But strip away all possessions, and the only thing any of us have, is each other. I hope that someday he understands that." Stanley currently haunts a trailer outside Bangor and is working on his first independent called Death with Stephen, A GHOSTWRITER'S MEMOIR. King's spokespeople had no comment regarding Stanley's allegations. | |
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